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Showing posts from January, 2013

Will I know...

Will I know it when I see it... Will it tell me who it is when it meets me... Will I know it is all there is... Will there still be something more...

Notes to my 15 year old self...

My teens were less than easy...actually pretty difficult. A lot of adults, especially in India, feel that young teens should have very less to worry about. We don't pay rent, get three great tasting meals on the table, we run, play and study. Pretty innocuous eh? Not. Its the stage in our lives when we are the least sure of ourselves. We are self conscious,  feel awful about our acne and everything else and who can forget the infamous periods for the womankind. There is so much going on, inside our bodies and outside of it, we just never pause. Until we realize that in the midst of the frenzy, we didn't really enjoy this phase of our lives. As I approach my 3-0, I think of the 15 year old me ever so often. It makes me appreciate the journey of life but I empathize so much with that gal. She has so much potential but she has so many doubts. There is no reason for her to hate herself but she does. And she is alone...so alone, or does she really just feel that way. There is so

Tone Toil

Thankfully I have never had issues with motivating myself....I have always had enough to do something I put my mind into. Lately, I have been trying to tone my body...its the only thing I think about. Its one of my breakthrough goals for 2013. At 5'0' and 115lb,  I tread a very narrow line because every lb, every inch is conspicuous on my small frame. But I have always been slightly cherubic and I want to see myself beyond that. Jillian Michaels has been my new frenemy! I passed out the first day I did her program and have come close everyday ever since. Its takes a lot of resolve, especially if you miss a day, your body's feedback is pretty discouraging. I am not sure if my one and half  weeks of high intensity interval training is showing at all and as much as that discourages me, it gives me a kick since this is SO hard. I am determined but my Bengali appetite always gives away...my resolve just keeps gaping at my appetite's presumptuousness!  The crazy reality is