Posts

Sabbath is Here...

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During this unprecedented time in human history, I am thinking of  Sabbath  often. I am not sure how it came into my consciousness, but it dropped there and hasn't left. Maybe I do. I have been asking the universe what this of this truly means. Through the vagaries of life, I have encountered surprise and wonder but not disorder and meaninglessness. There is always an order, a balancing of energy as shifts happen. Then I read the word  Sabbath  somewhere, and it has been following me or the other way around. I do not know much about it or I didn't till a few weeks ago. And then the world started locking down and I could hunker and read and absorb more about the sacredness of this day. Sabbath comes from the word  Shabbath  which means a  day of rest . I have never quoted scripture before and I apologize if I goof up, but the metaphorical meaning was just so powerful, I had to write it down.  “By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on th

When Grace Beckons...

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There I was, at another intersection of life and drama. Lost in thoughts and feeling the despair which comes from trying to fit our larger than life lives into the smallness of our minds.  I was sitting at the back of our car with my 3 year old son, traveling on the highway and feeling the nostalgia that comes from listening to older Bollywood songs. And then out of nowhere it happened. A tinkle in my index finger, and I knew it had arrived. A blessing that's distinctive and one I know very dearly. It's the oncoming of my presence, my godliness revealing itself, pushing my fictitious mind boundaries and very decisively telling it to step away for some sacred moments.  The tingling pervaded my whole body and while I wasn't articulating it, the vibration of oneness and resonance could be felt deeply. I just wanted to be, soak, marinate and glow in that resonance. And that's exactly what I did. I can never tell it's comings and goings. I can only respect the arriva

Freedom

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Ever feel that tinge of jealousy, when you see a homeless person on a bench? When any bench is for taking and time is of no essence,   You stay where you stay and then move on. Or when a bird sips from a puddle of rain water,   and then perches atop the beautiful oak tree. When any tree is fair game and the sky is the limit. What is that yearning? We don't settle when we are bound,   but we settle for bondage in the pursuit of freedom. We are limitless beings living in imagined boundaries.   we don't want them, but here we are,   creating them, fixing them, decorating them, every damn day...

Take Over

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My mind is heavy   I can feel tired in my bone. Or am I just resisting this moment   trying to change it to something else   or be somwhere else. I close my eyes for a little while   not knowing what the next moment will bring. I take another deep breath   and then another... I pass control over to my breath   unable to let my mind have the reins anymore. The moment calms down   in tandem with my breath. My mind is not heavy anymore My eyes are... I allow slumber to take over. Take over. Take over.  Surrender. 

Bliss Blizzard

What is that moment in time that you fell in love with your child, all over again? I know when it happened to me. Yesterday. He said hi to me in the most divine way and then laid his small little head against my shoulder, turned back and smiled so wide. He couldn't have said words and described what we both were feeling, in any better way. The fact is, at that moment we we both became one. Just one soul. It was breathtaking. That moment felt timeless and just how God would feel if it were a feeling. May it (he/she) is. I don't know. I just know that a 15 month old human just showed me everything that spiritual books talk about endlessly, or what I have been seeking in my meditation practice, just in a moment that involved a twinkle in the eye, a beautiful smile and a heart filled with immense love. Amen. 

Duality

Living in the duality of an ego based life and having the awareness of such living can be exasperating. The end doesnt seem to be in sight, almost feels like you can live like that forever. How do you sustain a spiritual life in the core of this drama of life? Or is that the game? I want out but I sorta enjoy the in. The duality remains. The exasperation continues as our desires take over and play boss. Always. 

Finally becoming a mother

My son Nirvaan is now 13 months old. By all means, he is wiser than I think a 13 month old should be. The way he grins sheepishly as he pounds his fist on the keyboard or pushes out all my neatly arranged books from the shelf, he seems very aware of everything he is doing.  But here is another thing that transpired. I think I truly became a mom, if there is such a thing. The last 13 months as a trainee were hard and exhausting with random spikes of pure bliss. To tell you the truth, between feeds and soreness all across, plus a full time job, it all seems a blur. Today is day 1, always. May be that’s the beauty of it.  Every emotion means a little different now. Happy is a different happy, peace has taken a whole different guise, sad, anger, have all taken a different dimensions. I feel like a very deep part of me has evolved to a degree that’s not touching the surface yet but it’s all coming together  for that beautiful painting at the end:). Onward...