Perspectives...

How many times have you heard that its important that we find ourselves??....so many...right? I have too. And at times it seemed like just another jargon out there....self realization, knowing thyself, realizing your dreams, knowing your true self...I held the opinion that these ideologies are just making some self help authors really really rich. Until now....now that I am facing one of the biggest challenges of my life. I don't know myself completely. I don't know what I want to be. I don't have a true north yet. More than anything, there is fear. What if I never realize my passion? What if its too late? I fear living someone else's definition of success. Its a very strange phase of my life. Very frustrating indeed. Personally, its the happiest phase of my life with my wedding and everything else that has funneled a lot of love in my life.But its also very tumultuous as this search for my purpose has consumed me completely. But I know I will find it bec

I am sitting here in the living room with the laptop on my lap and my very new husband sitting in the couch in front of me watching the aggressive Miami vs Chicago match....and I cant stop thinking...how happy I am. I have never been happier in my entire life. Yes, I feel like my work could have been a lill more challenging, I am still looking for a higher purpose in my life....but this feeling is easily recognizable as 'happiness'! I now know something absolutely for sure and this is not something I want to preach...this is the wisdom I have gained through painstakingly going through life, accepting its vicissitudes and learning from them. Our life feels hollow from one thing....and that is a lack of love. When we have love and you know that kind of love, that fills your heart, you don't feel hollow anymore. The pursuit of true love is indeed a difficult journey....but worth it!

Finally it came....my wedding day. The day I was supposed to be waiting for all my life. I was supposed to be the absolute focus of the day. It was supposed to be fairy tale. It was all that....not sure about the fairy tale bit though. It was fun nonetheless. There was the expected craziness and chaos...how could we have ever done without that! There was love pouring in from all sides but not in its usual form....like my mom did not have time to sweet talk with me, but had the time to make a 7 course meal...you know what I mean. In life, expectation of a specific expression of love can kill it and it did for me sometimes. But I was repeatedly told..."things like these happen in weddings". Three things stood out for me throughout the wedding....don't get me wrong...I loved that people came from far and near, gave me a lot of money(chuckle), kinda enjoyed(I hope so)....but if I were to remember this day 20 years down the line, these three things would come to my min