The Hero's Journey Was Always Incomplete...

Feminism is not my favorite topic. I just don't think its worth the discussion. May be because I was never made to feel like its a topic of concern. Growing up, there was never a question of me being treated  as an equal with my older brother. It's only when I went out of my home, there was so much content about equality or lack there of. I heard stories about my families and the generations past. Even though there was some degree of separation to the hurt and anger that the gender bias caused, I could faintly imagine what that could be like. But coming out in the world has made this topic more relevant for sure but the noise around it turns me off very often. 

But something ticked me off when I was listening to Elizabeth Gilbert on a fine Sunday morning. For the uninitiated, she is the author of Eat, Pray, Love. Now if you just sighed when you heard that, what she has done since is, to me, far more remarkable than her bestselling memoir. She has stirred something in women. This resulting revolution is palpable amongst the women community who know her work and follow her speaking career. On this Sunday, she spoke about the famous historian and mystic, Joseph Campbell. 

Joseph Campbell did amazing things for the humankind. The best of which was the introduction of the Hero's journey to us all.According to him, there is a Hero's journey in everyone. In a nutshell(without all of the details), the hero's journey starts with a calling, followed by self-doubts and refusal of the call, then the meeting with mentors and teachers, the Hero then leaves the world where he meets allies and enemies and then the preparation of the final battle(against our fears). Joseph Campbell's examples surprisingly only had male figures of the likes of Jesus, Hercules and Moses.Not a single female example was ever provided by Joseph Campbell. He couldn't provide any. Now that is freakin' interesting and slightly frustrating. They were cooking, sewing or always waiting but never ventured to listen to their calling and set out on their own Hero's journey.

It got me thinking about the female leads in my own story and their journey. 

My grandmothers on both sides held very matriarchal roles. They held the family together and regulated the emotions and the decisions of the family. My paternal grandmother went to an English school when it was unheard of. She had an impeccable grasp of English Lit and was a Master of Arts at the time when women were forbidden from educational institutions. She became a widow at a very young age and supported her three sons with the transition from an affluent academic family to a very modest bordering on poor academic family after my grandfather's sudden death. She ensured her sons got the education they needed and got jobs so that they could support their own families. 

My maternal grandmother had a different life. She was at the helm of a large family with relatives dropping by ever so often. She managed the household and made sure the kitchen never felt modest. The choicest Indian meals were on the menu, no matter what the cash flow was.Girls in the house were educated but not encouraged to have careers or hobbies. Getting married and knowing how to cook were still priorities. 

My parents, I believe, were both inspired by the matriarchs in their own lives when it came to raising me up. My father saw the strength of my grandmother and what an impact a strong presence can have in a tragedy struck family and my mother was probably curious to find out if girls can in fact do more than cook and get married. And what if her baby girl was encouraged to do more than just that. What if? 

The marriage of ideas gave me a beautiful childhood far removed from the circumstances of either of their own. Where I can have my own ideas and question the same if needed. Where I can choose the kind of life I feel called for.My generation is most probably the first generation of women that give themselves the permission to have their own Hero's journey. However important it was to grow and maintain a household, women at large in past generations never stopped to pay heed to the calling. Their own calling. Why were they put on this planet? What is their purpose? That we can have our own Hero's journey outside of the journey of our  spouses and partners. That we can be curious about things we like and explore them to see what they stir inside of us. And the much cliched, to follow our hearts. That could mean that we decide to be a full time mother, decide to pursue the top corporate job, to leave the corporate job to be full time photographers or authors, or travel the world for a year. 

I am a minute part of this humankind but still my conversations with other women makes me believe that a movement is rising. That if we keep the feminist debates on the side for a second, something much larger is at play. Women across the world are listening to their calling and they are not refusing the call due to fear, duty or inability anymore. They are giving their journey a shot and bathing in the grace that draws upon when we say YES! 

In the midst of this revolution, we can't forget the contributions of the women in our lives who have paved the way, who left breadcrumbs if nothing else could be done, who made sacrifices small and large to uplift the next generation, who passed on their unborn dreams to their next so they could dream it and some more, who were the silent strength that said no to any supression or attack of any kind to their daughters, who stood up for their daughters when no else believed them - we carry all of them inside of us. We owe it to them to not refuse the calling and carry them along on the Hero's journey. 

Cheers to changing the face of the Hero's journey!

To my mother who held space so that I could fly...I am eternally grateful. 

Happy International Women's Day!

Photo Courtsey: CJAM FM