Rituals that Anchor Us

"Life's roughest storms prove the strength of our anchors"

Twilight was my favorite time of the day growing up. As a teen, I would be extremely busy through the day but when twilight would come, I would quieten down and spend sometime just staring out into the scenery in the beautiful background of black and blue. I remember earnestly waiting for the time. And it would come everyday, rain or shine. Reminded me that all is well with the world no matter what happened in my own world. Much later in my life, I realized that the time of the day acted as an anchor for my life. 

As a single working girl, I developed a ritual of brewing chai every evening. No matter how the day went, I would look forward to the time of the day. I would give up on highly popular after work drinking sessions to just be home for this time. When I got married, my husband and I looked forward to the time of the day when I would brew chai and we would sip for it for an hour, talking about the day and life in general. It was a sacred time, much like twilight was growing up. I would not compromise on it for anything. 

I also developed rituals throughout my life like lighting a candle while writing or praying everyday for a minute. One of the most effective rituals in my life has been to check my breathing when I am angry or tensed; just being aware would calm me down. Opening the pages of my journal to write was always a homecoming where I just knew I would connect with a higher source when I indulge in it. I have friends who have the same relationship with their yoga practice or painting at a certain time of the day, or the morning coffee time. 

Anchors have a subtle way of appearing in our lives. They are rarely established with effort. They are an organic part of our lives and for some reason they happen everyday, much like a habit but not really one.They do more than what meets the eyes. They ground the fleeting nature of everything around us by being consistent. We anchor around them because they create a safe space where we can be ourselves. I imagine myself as the boat in fierce waters with these anchors all around me, keeping me safe. So, even though I sway in the waters, I feel a sense of OK. So, when I have had a rough day, I come back and brew some tea and in the act of the ritual, I find myself more in my body. In many ways, the rituals in are types of meditations that our lives have chosen to have in this lifetime. I have also found that once developed, they never leave us. Habits can change but rituals stay on, they have a higher purpose in our lives. 

How we do develop these rituals? I have no clue. By being curious about the things we like and in that process some just stick forever. Its recognizing the inner propensity to things/activities/people that makes us feel whole. We cannot develop them, either we find them or they find us. We don't nurture them because again, there is effort in nurturing. Rituals don't need our effort, they need our participation or shall I say, they enjoy our participation. 

Moment of contemplation:

• List a few rituals in your life
• What do they bring to your life?