The goal is not happiness

-
The only reason I was absolutely sure about writing notes to my 15 year old self was because I saw no reason why anyone should wait, especially teens, to start their spiritual journey. Absolutely none. I disagree that spiritual teachings are too deep for teens or they still have some 'growing up' to do. Because of the exhaustive list of external and internal changes teens go through, most of them are much deeper in their thoughts than apparent( sometimes way too much!). Comprehension is high because it needs to be, otherwise the race is difficult to survive.

I know exactly what you re going through right now because I was there. You are going through the flow of everyday life, with a blanket of gloom. There are days that bring us joy and there are ones that make you distraught. Life seems to be oscillate between these two polarities by virtue of things happening in the world external to us. Things happen and you react, positively or not. It's like you are on a boat and you have no way to steer  it. It's just going. I get every ounce of the frustration you are feeling right now. The question I often asked myself was " what's the point of this life, this year, this month, moment?" And I often answered my question, " I just want to be happy". 

After more than a decade of exploring the whims if happiness since my teens, I have come to something interesting. Happiness is dependent on external existential events that you and I have no control(duh! I knew this at 15!). The people, the places, the weather, all have to align for us to achieve the state of happiness. Happiness sits on a pedestal and we are in constant pursuit of that pedestal. 

Eckhart Tolle says that there is a space between happiness and unhappiness - Inner Peace. That's where I found my answer. There are no polarities with inner peace and its a very intimate phenomenon. It's ours and only ours. No one can mess with it, no one has the ownership of our inner peace. You can be happy and be in peace and you can be supremely unhappy and still have your inner peace. It's the protective coating for the flame of your inner self. Things can go on in the outside but your flame is steady. 

Maintaining inner peace needs practice and needless to say, I am still working on it. I am sharing some of my personal practices but as I said, your inner peace is your own and you may find your own techniques. I repeat the following when I am stressed out:

- both happiness and unhappiness are impermanent. 
- I accept this situation and surrender myself to the flow of life
- I am a peaceful soul

The goal is to reach a state of mental consistency, without the peaks of valleys of emotions that life often triggers. Otherwise we will live in the fear of leaving the peaks, despise  the time we are in the valley and live in the pursuit of peaks in the middle - we will just keep fighting and that's no fun. 


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Importance of Being Lost

-
My annual trips to India include a sojourn to Pune where I spent 10 very formative years of my life - the early two being life changing.  It is here that my parents, puzzled about what to do with my life as well as some sincere intentions to give me worldly education, sent me to board and educate myself at the nationally revered Fergusson College in Pune. I was all of 15 when I said goodbye to everything stable in my life - mom's food, dad being at my beck and call, friends and plays, the television, and my bed. I was the center of my universe as well as two other people who I served as the life purpose for.  And now I was one of many many girls living up to the rules of an dictator like elderly couple who hated anything developed post 1985. Queuing up every night to receive a spatula full of lentil and rice and the much in demand buttermilk, I doubted my existence. I shared the room with two other girls who clearly despised my because of my always somber disposition.  Man
Read more

Crossroads

-
Today I moved on from something I truly loved,  A community I created, a job that gave me a beautiful home. Crossing paths with people has never meant more to me, Kindered spirtis, lifelong friends, they showed me goodness everyday.  Its incredibly painful but my heart is full of gratitude How can a job mean so much?  It did, and I can only say thank you.  But now I know that jobs can indeed mean so much, And I will never be the same again. 
Read more

Focusing More on Experiences...Instead of Stuff

-
Do you like stuff? Oh yeah, you do! The more the merrier. Lets break it down, shall we? You see the stuff on the shelf, on TV, on this popular girl in school, and you know having it will change everything. You will more complete than you currently are. People will love the stuff, think greatly of you which will change the way they have always thought of you but it will also change the way you think about yourself. And after a span of thirty or so minutes after buying the stuff, you go back to your original state of mind. GONE! The respite to this undesirable outcome is that there is always,always another stuff to take you through those steps again, and again. Its our way to measure ourselves and others. Sounds familiar? Its not your and my story. I hope to be wrong but its a story of everyone The process will continue till one day you come to the realization that you are in in fact going through those steps of "want-buy-want more" continuously. This awareness provides the
Read more