Notes to my 15 year old self: A Quick Response

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You are quick respond. You brought yourself up that way. Through the years, you will encounter many moments where people will hurt you, diminish you with their words. Oh there will be so many of those that's its not even funny! And you will quickly establish that this is the way the world works. People are hurtful, ungrateful and you have to give it back to them. Otherwise they will not learn. No response to slights is an indication of weakness and to keep your standing in the universe(read the society) as a powerful girl, i need to come back with a vengeance  Yes, I am not a violent person by nature but I cannot stand someone look down upon me and the least I can do is stand up for myself. 

Over the years, you will execute many such back handed responses with elan! And for a second, the moment feels very powerful. You feel your chest rising and then... diminishing. The feeling is quick to fade. Every time you indulge in these quick responses, you will find yourself drained of life energy. You will also subtly realize that you just contributed to making the world a little more negative. 

For a change, try something else. Replace the quick response with a slightly different approach. Wait. Take three deep breaths and watch yourself breathing in and out. Block yourself from all other thoughts for those moments and be completely present. Disentangle from the situation and remove yourself such that you can watch it from a distance. And now let the words come...

What this will do is let a bigger intelligence talk instead of your thoughts or your ego person. All this time you have let this ego human talk and she has done her job. But you are vastly more intelligent that that. The real you has complete understanding of the perspective of that moment. It knows, that the person hurting is hurting themselves. It will know that the best thing to do in that very moment of conflict is to say you understand, or just walk away. Let the real you represent you in that moment. Not that crazy ball of momentum that just knows butting heads is the best solution to all slightly uncomfortable situations in life. 

You will find yourself walking away from a situation, sometimes with a smile. Because YOU will know that it really, really does not matter. 


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