Perspectives...

The burning desire    The constant knock on the door, Thump, thump, thump   Are you listening to me? What do i need to do for you to listen? Give up the mediocrity, its not worth your soul,   Reach out to me,   Reach for me I am here, I always have, Have you forgotten, you have a contract with me,   You have to get the job done. Do you really want to go with a ringing in your heart?   Do you really want to go with a thump, thump, thump...

I am going down this road   Asking the questions of life that i never set out to ask,  The questions are coming to me, just like the answers are,   Its splendidly weird, extremely bewildering. My soul stirs with each question and with each answer,    there is a peace that i think i am searching for in everything i do. So I keep asking, i will keep asking,   till the questions end or I become one with the answer. Its not a race but an ecstatic exploration.   one that will never disappoint,   that much i know...

I am busy, oh so busy,   in the little itibiti ness of my life, when going to work, paper work, paying the bill   the laundry, the dishes seem to fill me up to the brink. And then there are those moments,   Those millisecond worth of a moment, When the heart seems to open, open up so large that its hard to breath,   That moment of pure clarity,   that all of my busyness is pure farce   that everything i know or hope to know in the future is an unimaginitive waste of my time   that who is standing and who is watching knows everything there is to know And I am whole. And then I am not anymore. I wait for the next bout...

A: there is a separation,    a slight crack in the door, there is light coming through,   i see it, i see it! B: Or..or is it just you coming through? where there is separation,   there is awareness, where there is awareness,   there is light. A: Ahhh, so the light was always there,   it was the crack I was waiting for! B: Sigh...

We sit on jute chairs, facing each other,    the cup of tea steaming the ambiance. There is grass beneath our feet,    the clear sky with the magnificent stars above us. The birds sipping on the clay pot nearby,    the violet petunia stands in stillness. We don't say a word,    we just take in the silence. But we clearly recognize the moment,    the moment where everything we needed was right there. There was nothing urgent, nothing less important,    everything was just there. And there was love...

A new day, the old sun A new perspective, the old choices A new life, the old relatives A new beginning, the ignored opportunities A new resolution, the old habits A new love, the old ego A new earth, Or is it?

Most of my early adulthood has gone into discovering what i want to 'do' in my life. Quotes like 'find out what you want to do", "what do you love to do?", "find your calling through your work"  did nothing to help the uproar inside of me. It only made it worse. Destiny, calling, etc. just seemed like buzz words that were incredulous.  The growing awareness that one might be here to do something very specific can be utterly frustration, because it comes without a map or directions. But this awareness is special and it does not come to everyone. In many ways, the source of this frustration is the germination of spiritual journey, as it was for me. A by-product of this phenomenon is restlessness and a restlessness so severe that it would make me cry. This very feeling pushed me to dabble in multiple jobs. I was keenly aware when a job didn't line up with me. I was labeled a job hopper and was...