Perspectives...

"Everyday may not be good but there is something good in everyday" One of the biggest struggles of growing up for me was getting used to the concept of "everyday life". Age 12-22 is sort of a goal oriented life and everyday counts towards this big kaboom!(or not!) When everything in life will be beautiful and you wake up in the morning jubilant with so much money to spend and so much happiness to be had. When we wont have to strive or struggle anymore and we can just relax in peace. Getting through undergrad, grad school, getting a job - we are on the goal drug. Drug that keeps us focused on this future goal. When we open our eyes in the morning to moment we hit the bed , we are overcome by this drive to get to that end goal.  Right about the time when I got my first job, I felt on the top of the world. The new people, the money in my account magically appearing every month, the laptop that a stranger just handed to me, the feeling of being of value - that...

Article published in www.successstory.com  Success Story Article 1.   Defining phase: Indecision, frustration, worry, anxiety, adventure, - every emotion you are feeling, has been felt by others. The road to arriving at a career can be a potpourri but people have travelled the road before. They may have bruises but each one symbolizes a shift that makes life meaningful. Unless we are couch potatoes – any reasonable person striving for a dream or an aspiration feels the pangs of rejection and fear. We are better off for it. For every struggle we boldly face, there is one more ethic we build that is going to serve us for the rest of our lives. Don’t be resistant to this phase; embrace it with all your heart, because it’s here to change you for the better. 2. Define success for yourself: What does success mean to you? Not the societal definitions but your own. The quick responses at this age are usually – money, a fancy car, a fun relationship, great parties, etc. Cha...

What's the biggest lie we tell ourselves? That we don't care about what people think of us. We do care. A lot. More than we would like to admit.  We are looking for validation. Validation for us being alive. Validation for a meaningful life. And we know it's a farce. 

I see the road to your lap so clearly, The long winded red brick road, with tulips, roses, your favorite flowers,  It calls out for me whenever I pass by, Then why do I hesitate to take this road? The other roads are similar, They don't offer me the love that the red brick road does,     but it offers other stuff that seem  worldly, I don't hesitate to plunge on those roads. I can see you sitting at the end of the road,  waiting on your rocking chair,       you have been waiting for me, Our eyes meet and I can see the longing in your eyes,     as you can see the longing in mine. I have had these moments before, But I still take the other roads, Deep within I know I will always find you there, At the end of the road on your rocking chair, waiting for me. I did the same today, But in a fleeting moment of despair, I ran back to the brick road, But I cant see you sitting on your rocking chair,  I ...

The space between the land and sea    that's where I want to exist Equally in touch with the ephemeral and the ethereal,    the concrete and the sublime,    the enjoyment of this very moment and the life looking at the future,    the cacophony and the stillness Its fun right here in the middle,    knowing but still staring at the fallacy, But alas, I turn back...    and dive deep into the sea...

So I traveled all around, through the uphill mountains, the clouds,  the magnificent palaces, the expensive theme parks, man made structures, that ironically, give you a better view of the world... By the grace of fortune, I have seen a lot... But why does my soul still yearns... It yearns for my mother's hand on my hair, listening to my father's anecdotes, breathing the air when the family is together on the porch, the cup of tea that holds the wisdom of life, the fluttering of leaves that resonates with my beating heart, It yearns for the grounded feeling of the rocking chair facing the sun the calming strength of my grandfather's words, the sound of tea being sieved into my favorite cup, the warmth of my husband's arms, the weathering pages of my favorite books, the conversations that invoke a more authentic self, It yearns for the rush in the smallest acts of kindness,   and the small moments when we live for something bigger than ourselves... ...

From time immemorial, the meaning of my life had a easy correlation to my personal measurable success. The meaning of life was what everyone 'thought' about me. I now realize what I fool I have been! I am even more  frustrated that children continue to be raised with that notion.  I don't know if what I am going to write further will make any sense to the reader but here goes...what I know now is that the meaning of life cannot be measured by any society driven metric. Its simply about the moments that give you goosebumps, that bring tears to your eyes for no apparent reason, that which fills the heart with a sense of spaciousness that this is it, this is all i need.The more I get these moments in my lifetime here, the closer I get to the ultimate truth....

I have heard myself saying "I want this" or "I want more", so many times now that it does not seem out of place when these do come out of my mouth. As humans, we are wired to desire, to long for more. To not be satiated is the birth right! The coveted house, the zippy car, the stainless steel appliances, the new spice jars or that incredibly beautiful spatula?!?....the things that seem desirable or absolutely essential for my sane living is funny and sad at the same time. But then I took a new job which requires me to stay away from my very mediocre 2 bedroom rental, that has steadily grown on us, I must add. And it didn't really take a lot of time to set things into perspective! Not long at all! There are two things that I miss, miss in a way that the pit of my stomach hurts when I sit here in a eerie hotel room with the tv on....how glamorous  is that!  One i miss my baby....oh no matter how articulately I try to express that feeling, I will fail. Le...

Today I know how it feels to be almost there. To be 0.009 sec away from the guy who came first, to almost give the most intelligent answer in the class, to have slipped in your last summersault in your almost perfect act. It is a very unsettling feeling. You tend to go over and over and over that very scene that made the difference. What if, I cud, I wud....it doesnt end. I lie alone on my bed....reliving the moment. But is it really the end of the world...not really. I know the moment will never come back. But it really is a matter of perspective. I think about the things it taught me...patience, not losing myself(or training to), to concentrate on things I have and ofcourse looking at the bigger picture. But how I wish....I could do things differently....just that very moment;)