Perspectives...

From time immemorial, the meaning of my life had a easy correlation to my personal measurable success. The meaning of life was what everyone 'thought' about me. I now realize what I fool I have been! I am even more  frustrated that children continue to be raised with that notion.  I don't know if what I am going to write further will make any sense to the reader but here goes...what I know now is that the meaning of life cannot be measured by any society driven metric. Its simply about the moments that give you goosebumps, that bring tears to your eyes for no apparent reason, that which fills the heart with a sense of spaciousness that this is it, this is all i need.The more I get these moments in my lifetime here, the closer I get to the ultimate truth....

I have heard myself saying "I want this" or "I want more", so many times now that it does not seem out of place when these do come out of my mouth. As humans, we are wired to desire, to long for more. To not be satiated is the birth right! The coveted house, the zippy car, the stainless steel appliances, the new spice jars or that incredibly beautiful spatula?!?....the things that seem desirable or absolutely essential for my sane living is funny and sad at the same time. But then I took a new job which requires me to stay away from my very mediocre 2 bedroom rental, that has steadily grown on us, I must add. And it didn't really take a lot of time to set things into perspective! Not long at all! There are two things that I miss, miss in a way that the pit of my stomach hurts when I sit here in a eerie hotel room with the tv on....how glamorous  is that!  One i miss my baby....oh no matter how articulately I try to express that feeling, I will fail. Le...

Everyone who has ever known me will tell you that I am very ambitious. Have been for pretty much all of my life. And that has led to discontent. The whole idea around ambition is, and i speak for myself, you keep lofty goals and you are so driven and motivated that you achieve them. Failure is not a choice. Once a goal is reached, you look for another lofty one. And it goes on. My perspective is that ambition and discontent go hand in hand.  I have been mostly discontent around my career. I have always wanted something bigger and better. What I have presently, never seemed good enough to me. Or way too easy or I felt like I have conquered that territory, I need to capture something else. I have frowned on people who have seemed content, even my husband. Many a times, he has received unsolicited advice from me on what he should do next. For God's grace, he has only ever ignored my suggestions. But his serenity has always irked and provoked me. His i...

The beauty of priorities in life is that is it so consistent with life itself...it keeps changing. As I move into a new phase in my life where I am striving to adjust to a new lifestyle and way of living, this fact has never been as clear to me. Our lives are like earth itself, rotating into different phases and revolving around our most important relationships,both  professional and personal. But the magnificence of life is that there is no pattern and there is an inherent unpredictability. Well its the same for our priorities. Since time immemorial  I have heard that life is a discovery and till very recently, I treated it like other apparently BS philosophies I keep hearing. They are all coming true and laughing at my face:). Life is indeed a discovery project with priorities acting as a mirror at every stage of this project. When we see the mirror, we know the truth in our soul. Now, what we do with that knowledge is a choice we make.... tha...

So I decided to move on from my current job late last week. As is with everything else in my life nowadays, I feel neutral. Its a change and interestingly I find people around me getting more excited about this impending change in my life. The drama of life continues. My resignation has coincided with a restructuring going on in my company currently. Its sad to see people go. But a period of change and destruction is good. So I am happy for the company. As for me, it isn't very different. I am making a radical change in lifestyle. Travel will be close to every week, I am really hoping that's not true but its better to not be in denial. My dear husband is being the best he can be and he is such a sport. Although I know he is scared, as much as I am. But I really feel, this opportunity came at the right time and its the right opportunity for this phase in my life. We will miss the evening chai time and the chat about how our day went...but I hope other th...

Will I know it when I see it... Will it tell me who it is when it meets me... Will I know it is all there is... Will there still be something more...

My teens were less than easy...actually pretty difficult. A lot of adults, especially in India, feel that young teens should have very less to worry about. We don't pay rent, get three great tasting meals on the table, we run, play and study. Pretty innocuous eh? Not. Its the stage in our lives when we are the least sure of ourselves. We are self conscious,  feel awful about our acne and everything else and who can forget the infamous periods for the womankind. There is so much going on, inside our bodies and outside of it, we just never pause. Until we realize that in the midst of the frenzy, we didn't really enjoy this phase of our lives. As I approach my 3-0, I think of the 15 year old me ever so often. It makes me appreciate the journey of life but I empathize so much with that gal. She has so much potential but she has so many doubts. There is no reason for her to hate herself but she does. And she is alone...so alone, or does sh...